Wednesdays are the middle finger of  the week.

周三的地位相当于中指。

Wow, honey, the house is so clean!

Was the internet  down for a while today?

亲爱的，今天家里可真干净！是不是网络断过？

I’d do anything to lose 10lbs, except  eat healthy and work out.

为了减掉10磅，我愿意左任何事，除了健康饮食和运动。

I has a dream once.

我有一个梦想，

曾经。

You make me wish I had more middle fingers.

你让我恨不得自己可以多长几根中指出来。

I’ll be there in five minutes.

If not, read this again.

我五分钟后到。

如果没有，

把这句话再念一遍。

Your secret is safe with me and my best friend.

我会保守你的秘密，我也会让我的朋友保守秘密。

I can’t get out of my bed. These blankets have accepted me as one of their own and if I leave now I might  lose their trust.

我不能起床，因为被子已经接受我成为它的一部分，我离开它等于背叛了它。

I’ve had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carton dioxide.

整整一天，

都在忙着把氧气转化成二氧化碳，

好累。

Let’s fall in love with fictional characters because we can’t get real boyfriends of our own.

我们和虚构的人物恋爱吧！反正也找不到真的男朋友。