希望你的人生可以像你的朋友圈一样!

Wednesdays are the middle finger of  the week.

周三的地位相当于中指。

 

Wow, honey, the house is so clean!

Was the internet  down for a while today?

亲爱的,今天家里可真干净!是不是网络断过?

 

I’d do anything to lose 10lbs, except  eat healthy and work out.

为了减掉10磅,我愿意左任何事,除了健康饮食和运动。

 

I has a dream once.

我有一个梦想,

曾经。

 

You make me wish I had more middle fingers.

你让我恨不得自己可以多长几根中指出来。

 

I’ll be there in five minutes.

If not, read this again.

我五分钟后到。

如果没有,

把这句话再念一遍。

 

Your secret is safe with me and my best friend.

我会保守你的秘密,我也会让我的朋友保守秘密。

 

I can’t get out of my bed. These blankets have accepted me as one of their own and if I leave now I might  lose their trust.

我不能起床,因为被子已经接受我成为它的一部分,我离开它等于背叛了它。

 

I’ve had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carton dioxide.

整整一天,

都在忙着把氧气转化成二氧化碳,

好累。

 

Let’s fall in love with fictional characters because we can’t get real boyfriends of our own.

我们和虚构的人物恋爱吧!反正也找不到真的男朋友。